(Part 3 – same text, different images)
So… Something that I absolutely loathe about
the mainstream media is the condescending
way it treats platonic love. There are billions of
movies, TV shows, books, songs about love,
but hardly any of them is dedicated to the love
between friends. In the film industry, friendship
is being invariably and systematically treated
as an inferior form of love that gets portrayed
mainly in order to be used as a precursor to a
supposedly superior romantic relationship…
In the best possible scenario, friendship is just
some mediocre subplot/filler entirely devoid of
depth, creativity, originality, complexity, beauty.
When it comes to music, for my 25 years on
Earth, I have heard not more than 2 or 3 songs
about friendship. And if we turn our attention
to social media and the internet, we will notice
that all these grandiose love quotes circulating
here are oftentimes accompanied by some
rather illogical, frustrating, sexually-suggestive
images that in reality, have absolutely nothing
to do with the soulmates and soul connections
the quotes are supposedly addressing.
Friendship has been so neglected and put in
such a humiliating position by the mainstream
media that the word „friend“ carries absolutely
no weight or meaning anymore... 25 centuries
ago Aristotle said: „A friend is a second self.“
On another occasion, when asked „What is a
friend?“, he claimed: „A single soul dwelling in
two bodies.“ In the 21st century, who speaks
about friendship in this deep profound way…?
Nowadays, human society is so superficial and
shallow that every single colleague, classmate,
neighbour or distant acquaintance with whom
people gossip once per month or get drunk at
parties is considered a „friend“. We see it even
here on the internet… A total stranger you met
10 seconds ago sent you a friend request and
here you are…already „friends“…! Friendship is
no longer special. On the contrary… According
to the the rules of the relationship hierarchy, it
is actually something quite trivial and ordinary.
In a society of „just/only friends“ in desperate
search of their special „more than friends“…
In her book „A Little Life“ Hanya Yanagihara
wrote: „Why wasn’t friendship as good as a
relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was
two people who remained together, day after
day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or
money or children or property, but only by the
shared agreement to keep going, the mutual
dedication to a union that could never be
codified. Friendship was witnessing another’s
slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of
boredom, and occasional triumphs. It was
feeling honored by the privilege of getting to
be present for another person’s most dismal
moments, and knowing that you could be
dismal around them in return.“
At a reading titled „Relying on Friendship in a
World Made for Couples“ she also adds:
„Friendship is the most underrated relationship
in our lives. It remains the one relation not
bound by law, blood, or money — but an
unspoken agreement of love.“
Mainstream media does not speak about that.
And in the rare cases when mainstream media
does speak about friendship and platonic love,
it is almost entirely a representation of people
who belong to the same sex, the same (young)
generation, sometimes even to the same race.
Friendships between different generations,
sexes/genders, races, religions, nationalities,
ethnicities are, to this day, widely considered
socially unacceptable and „inappropriate“.
And if this is not enough, most often than not,
all the „friends“ that media portrays have one
and the same Aphrodite- and Apollo-like body
types that fit every fake toxic beauty standard.
And when it comes to non-human friends, due
to carnistic/speciesist standards and selective
empathy, they are limited only to animals or
more precisely, only to a few kinds of animals,
most likely cats and dogs… And that is all.
But then everyone is constantly talking about
inclusion and diversity!? But then everyone is
constantly repeating that „love is everywhere“,
„love will save us“ and „love is stronger than
anything“!? But the moment you try to love
someone, it turns out love cannot actually be
everywhere! Love can only be where society
deems it „appropriate“ based on the laws of
the relationship hierarchy and some perceived
„compatibility“ between your and the other
person’s age/gender/race/religion/nationality/
ethnicity/body type/species/physical proximity.
At the end of the day, it’s all empty words…
It is a lie that „love always wins“ and „love is
stronger than anything“. Conformity, human
norms/rules/divisions/separations/limitations/
hierarchies/dogmas/stereotypes/prejudices/
biases/conventions/hormones/instincts/sins…
Nothing is stronger than these.
Which, being this celibate vegan animist that
I am, disgusts me and saddens me severely…
But hey… :-] I’m all here for interracial,
intergender, intergenerational, interspecies,
international and internet friendships!
And if I have at least one purpose in this life,
it is to break stereotypes, to break toxic social
norms, to break the mold. And now, thanks to
AI and Bing Image Creator, I can finally do it.
I can create the pictures I’ve been desperately
waiting to see, but never really did.
You know the saying:
“If you want sth done right, do it yourself.”
And so I did. (Hopefully…)
In closing, I leave you with this lovely excerpt
from the book „Anam Ċara: A Book of Celtic
Wisdom“ written by the Irish poet, philosopher
and Catholic priest John O’Donohue:
„In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful
understanding of love and friendship. One of
the fascinating ideas here is the idea of
soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam
ċara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and
ċara is the word for friend. So anam ċara in the
Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early
Celtic church, a person who acted as a
teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was
called an anam ċara. It originally referred to
someone to whom you confessed, revealing
the hidden intimacies of your life. With the
anam ċara you could share your inner-most
self, your mind and your heart. This friendship
was an act of recognition and belonging.
When you had an anam ċara, your friendship
cut across all convention, morality, and
category. You were joined in an ancient and
eternal way with the “friend of your soul.”
The Celtic understanding did not set
limitations of space or time on the soul.
There is no cage for the soul.
The soul is a divine light that flows into you
and into your Other. This art of belonging
awakened and fostered a deep and special
companionship.
In his Conferences, John Cassian says this
bond between friends is indissoluble: “This, I
say, is what is broken by no chances, what no
interval of time or space can sever or destroy,
and what even death itself cannot part.”
In everyone’s life, there is great need for an
anam ċara, a soul friend. In this love, you are
understood as you are without mask or
pretension. The superficial and functional lies
and half-truths of social acquaintance fall
away, you can be as you really are.
Love allows understanding to dawn, and
understanding is precious. Where you are
understood, you are at home.
Understanding nourishes belonging. When
you really feel understood, you feel free to
release yourself into the trust and shelter of
the other person’s soul.“
And lastly…
I perceive all these images as my children and
I honestly put all my love in this post, so if
it reminds you of someone special, it will mean
the world to me if you share it with them…!
Because… As Hanya Yanagihara so beautifully
wrote, „Wasn’t friendship its own miracle, the
finding of another person who made the entire
lonely world seem somehow less lonely?“…
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