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I read an audio book about generational traumas, and the authoress says that most of us ( I also think like this) has a cognitive bias -> „bad things can only happen to bad people“, „that thing can’t happen to me,etc.“. This is a mechanism that helps us keep being sane.

Think of it like this: you see someone who is miserable (low health / low money / low status, lost children in accident, etc.) and you think to yourself : „I will never end up like him/her, this can’t happen to me, etc.

right i see; prejudice; instead of trying to help the person they ´justify´his misery by saying he deserved it, he is bad, he is this and that; thus feeling superior and not doing anything about his situation, right ?

Not always. If they understood the roots of his/her suffering they can relate to it and they help (the human is by default helpful). They won’t help when they don’t understand, don’t have the experience with that kind of suffering, they don’t help not because they are evil, they just don’t want to feel powerless, helpless, hopeless (example: I don’t look at wounded animals or little children because I don’t know how to help them and I feel powerless). Another thing: people who dismiss depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, personality disorders or other less-talked about issues, don’t want to hear about them because they don’t experience it and they feel powerless in helping them. It’s not prejudice, it’s just a coping mechanism.

right i see; you are right; too empathetic people tend to get hurt; coping and defense mechanism; i am not gona be in a skin of this person it might harm me too; its too much for me……..right ?